Do I Need a “Big Scary Gun”?

I am not in favor of banning things that are “Liked” by name in a little document called the Constitution.  However, I’ve never felt the need to own an AR15 (the big scary gun that liberals call an “assault rifle”).  I totally get why some people want one and why others really do need one (or more), and I totally respect their right to have an AR15.  More power to them.  But since I don’t hunt, and I don’t live in a wide open space where I might be attacked by a [whatever animal would be duly deflected by an AR-15], and there are probably several hundred houses and pedestrians within the range of a rifle bullet, and since an AR15 would run me well over a grand, I personally haven’t brought myself to buy one.  Yet.

I’ve often had this back and forth with my trainers.  If I’ve got a spare $1,500 (which is rare), AND if I’m also in a position to earmark that cash for personal defense (as opposed to, say, the mortgage), then am I going to buy an AR15?  Or would I use those funds to tighten up the gear I actually use every day?  Or would I spend it on training with the gear I’ve got?

My trainers’ response: “Everybody needs a rifle.  You never know…”  Then of course like a dutiful pupil I ask, “and why is that, Sensei?”  To which their response is usually something like this…

So, let me make sure I understand.  I need an AR15 in case of the Zombie Apocalypse?  [You do understand that that is a mooooovie, right?]  If that’s the best reason you’ve got, I’ll keep my $1,500.  But my trainers are persistent cusses.  Their next bullet point (sorry, couldn’t resist) is usually something like,

Well, Memphis is on a fault line.  We’re overdue for a giant earthquake.  What if that happens and then we have a Katrina-like state of anarchy on our hands?  It’ll be Armageddon.  When the looters descend upon your house, are you gonna trust your life to your measly sidearm?

My answer:  Hmm.  I see your point, but in that case I’ll just go for the shotgun.  Their response:

You’re wrong.  You need a rifle.  Stopping power, ammunition capacity, accuracy, speed of fire, sheer intimidation factor, etc. etc….

And on and on we go, back and forth.  So far, no one has been able to convince me that I absolutely must have an AR15 (again, if I were swimming in cash, the decision would be much easier).  Don’t get me wrong, they are very fun to shoot, but I’ve always been worried that rifle bullets would sail through walls and take out playground dwellers down the block.  Then again, if there was some sort of mass-casualty event, I suppose playgrounds down the street would be the least of my problems.

So the earthquake scenario is more convincing than the Zombie Apocalypse.  But I still have yet to fork over that small fortune for an AR.  [Let me take this opportunity to address the “How much is your life worth?” crowd.  That’s a cool soundbite, but in reality it doesn’t always fly unless you’re Mitt Romney or Warren Buffett.  Of course my life is priceless.  That doesn’t mean I can spare $1,500 to buy an AR15 right this second.  Just sayin’.]  Anyway, where was I?  Oh yes, taking my chances on the Zombie Apocalypse.  Well, now there’s this:

Blue Flu

Wait, what?  Five hundred cops out?  Seriously?  Now, if I’m not mistaken Memphis has about 2,200 police officers. I wasn’t a math major, but isn’t that damn-near a quarter of the force? And another source reported the number at nearly 700!  How would your office fare if 25% of the team didn’t show up?

So.  Zombies?  Eh, call me naive, but I’m betting that won’t happen in my lifetime (knock on wood).  Earthquake?  Eyebrows definitely perked up, but still so far that scenario hasn’t sent me running to the AR store.  A police strike?  Now there’s something that quite honestly had never occurred to me (again, call me naive).  Luckily for us, the “Blue Flu” epidemic is subsiding, and so far it doesn’t appear that the criminals bothered to exploit it much.  BUT, it did get me to thinking.  Am I now more strongly considering higher-powered home defense options?  Yes.

As I mentioned on my profile page, I am primarily a pistol chick.  I know next to nothing about rifles.  So, confessing my ignorance, I submit myself to the mercy of my awesome readers.  What do you think?  Does an inner-city resident need (not want, but need in the literal sense of the word) an AR15?  Or a carbine or some other urban rifle?