Is this what it feels like to get married? I’ve never been great at commitment. That’s probably why I’m still single and have always struggled to keep any job that I didn’t create from scratch. Before now, every time I thought about the doing anything for “life,” it only reminded me of the 1999 movie with Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy (where “Life” meant decades of periodic surface-level laughter as a fleeting distraction from the ball and chain).
Alas, I’m getting older now, and I figured it was time to settle down. How bad could it be, right? So, after years of flirting and toying with NRA allegiance in annual spurts, I finally took the plunge (I admit the gigantic promotional discount made the decision a lot easier). And today I got my packet in the mail, so I suppose it’s official. I’m a lifer!
It’s no secret that I have a love-hate relationship with the NRA (oddly befitting, now that we’re tied together ’til death do us part). But I can’t deny that they are the muscle of this whole pro-gun outfit. I decided that if my Second Amendment rights mean anything to me, I better get on board 100%. I’ve also been encouraged by their more recent ads, some of which seem to celebrate diversity and take a more proactive stance on outreach. I went forward with the life membership at first out of a somewhat begrudging sense of obligation (begrudging only because I kept thinking about how many movies I could see with the membership fee… or how much ammo I could buy). But once I got my packet in the mail, I was pleasantly surprised as the sense of pride that welled over me.
And it turns out that Life Membership has its perks, like getting a glimpse at the upper-level sausage-making that happens among the big wigs. Back when I was a lowly annual toe-dipper, I tried a few times to dig up clues to the NRA’s governance and leadership (other than the public figureheads who send me 18 emails a day). All I could find were hit-pieces from Mother Jones and screen-grabs on the Wayback Machine. Not sure why the inner workings are so top-secret (leaving Mother Jones free to frame the narrative); but hey, at least now I might get to learn a little more about the belly of the beast — and just in time to attend my first NRA Convention next year. I wonder what else I’ll learn this weekend while perusing the seventeen articles of the NRA bylaws.
And with that, I’ll treat you all to one of the best parts of the 1999 film: The title song, Life, by K-Ci and JoJo. Nineties new jack swing at its finest. And the perfect background music for my leisure reading. Enjoy!
5 comments on “‘Til Death Do Us Part”
So will we see you at the NRA Annual Meeting in Atlanta?
Yep! I’ll be there!
Liked your article I read all the NRA bylaws etc about 3-4 years ago. My only advice would be to drink a Red Bull or two, 2 or 3 Hershey bars and a pot of coffee ready to go! Otherwise you’re gonna fall asleep lol Congrats on the Lifetime Membership! I usually go with the 5 year plan and just keep renewing ever five. Daughter is a Sophomore in college so my discretionary spending had to adjust
What are your thoughts on the election and cabinet appointees so far? Did you buy any shooting toys or ammo on Black Friday or Cyber Monday? I found a good deal on Ruger LC9s 9mm semi auto I should have picked it up today but been lazy a$$ for some reason Maybe it’s change of season or watching football for my lack of energy. Sincerely Geo
Ugh, you’re engaging me on controversial politics on a rainy, dreary, cold Saturday night when I was just about to watch reruns of Vikings in my fuzzy slippers. I’m starting to think you don’t like me. 🙂
You might have noticed I’ve been more or less avoiding the Trumpathon here at FSP (lazy, I know). I guess I’ll give the short version and hope I don’t get ex-communicated. My hesitation with Trump was not because of his antics or his politics (and frankly not even p*ssy-gate). Instead, I was afraid that he was quite literally unpredictable, in every way. I was worried that amid the unthinkable horror of a Clinton presidency, the gun community fell hook, line, and sinker for Trump’s hollow promises to uphold gun rights, even despite that he had previously taken every conceivable position in the book on that issue and all others. Sure enough, he’s already started to back away from campaign promises.
However, I’m also encouraged in many ways by some of the things he’s doing. I liked his victory speech on election night. It was the first ounce of humility and grace I had seen from him over the entire campaign. I’m not sure yet if it’s benevolent or opportunistic, but he is starting to strike me more as a deliberative man, even though you wouldn’t know it from his turrets-like tweet-storms. I like the Mattis pick, although it looks like he’s going to run into trouble in the Senate. I hate the Sessions pick for a lot of reasons. I like Haley for the UN, even though she’s inexperienced. Haven’t made up my mind on Education. My conservative friends love DeVos for axing Common Core. But all my friends who are actually teaching in the public schools think she’s a nightmare. I haven’t taught high school for a while now, so their opinions (and the sheer across-the-board solidarity of it) is making an impression on me. Jury is still out on some of the other picks. I’m really nervous about State. We’ll see how it goes. Fingers crossed!
P.S. – I avoided the Black Friday frenzy for fear that I might p*ss away my mortgage payment and car note. And electric bill. And cable and cell phone and internet bills and grocery budget and gas money….
– Tiff 🙂
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