When I was in college in Miami, I was president of an organization called United Black Students. We held cultural events and festivals and what not, and we had an office on campus where students could just hang out, use computers, relax between classes. One day I was in the office with five or six other UBS members when a trembling, trepidatious 80-pound girl peeked into our office, whose skin was white as snow. She looked lost and frankly terrified. We had several options for how to react:
- Ignore her.
- Laugh at her.
- Say something like, “Hey, if you’re looking for the chess club, it’s around the corner.”
- Invite her in.
We picked #4. “Hey, what’s up? Need some help? Wanna come chill with us?” Luckily, she did. There were certainly some awkward moments, but over an hour later we had learned all about her home in North Dakota where she had never seen a black person in real life. “Only on television,” she told us. I didn’t realize there were people in America who had never seen a black person. She didn’t realize there were people in America who had never seen a tractor (at that time, I hadn’t). One Jamaican dude let her tinker with his dreadlocks, and she told us all what it’s like to live where there isn’t another house for miles, which was a completely alien concept to me. I think we were just as fascinated with her as she was with us.
She ended up joining UBS and being one of our most active members. And I’ll never forget that moment when she stuck her head in the door. She knew nothing about us, but in that one hesitant gesture, she showed at least a willingness to learn. If we had chosen any other option besides #4, she might have learned about black folks from the KKK instead of learning from us.
I had a similar experience at Rangemaster. When I walked in shaking like a leaf and told them I was afraid of guns, they could have said, “Well then you’re in the wrong place.” If they had, I’d still be afraid of guns to this day. Hell, I’d probably be on the board of the Brady Campaign instead of writing this blog.
If someone shows even the slightest interest in your skill set, experience, or point of view, don’t squander that moment. Even if you think the person already has his/her mind made up, or even if the encounter occurs under awkward circumstances, or even if the person approaches you with preconceived notions, incredulity, or skepticism, we still have to recognize what a golden opportunity we have in that fleeting instant. Take time to educate. Don’t be defensive. Defy stereotypes. If the person is sarcastic or cynical, don’t reciprocate. Be inviting. Force the person to afford you at least the benefit of an open ear. There is too much at stake.
Sorry for the soap box.
But, “every aspect of racial and cultural otherness” seems to be the common theme in most of your posts, and if it’s outside the lane of discussion by an intelligent professional mediator who struggles as we all do to define what equality really is and means without feeling pangs of disloyalty to our own, then we may be doomed to another generation or three of edgy tolerance of the elephant in the room who pisses off everyone but who all are loathe to address.
There are no rights more closely aligned, more prone to polarize, more precious to our existence as a free republic, or more dear to our hearts as true libertarians than those regarding equality and civil liberty. Read deep into Mother Jones erstwhile hatchet piece on the NRA ESQ and find that civil rights and a healthy distrust of government and its agents are at the heart of it, to the degree that the choice of Howard University was not an odd footnote but a deliberate effort to fuse the issues of personal freedom and the ability to defend it.
Beyond the scope of this blog? I can’t imagine it, but it is your blog and your choice.
Hey JTC! Guilty as charged. I admit I’m curious about and fascinated by race and our collective struggles to make peace with its complexities. But I’ll never come close to knowing every aspect of all there is to know on the matter. So to that extent, its definitely beyond my scope… but certainly not beyond my interest. With any luck I’ll just keep learning! Regardless of how polarized we may be on the surface, I do think by and large equality and liberty are both paramount for people of all persuasions. And again, I thank you for the compliments! 🙂
It occurs to me that the title of this post A Golden Opportunity, is kismet. Is this blog about gun rights? Civil rights? Trick question, they are inextricably one and the same, and I look forward to further discussion. There may be less polarization than we think when we open our hearts and minds.
Yes, yes, and yes! One and the same, my good sir. One and the same. I sure hope I’m around to see it when folks at the poles start having that epiphany!
Nice story. Theoretically that same inclusiveness would occur if race roles were reversed, but I doubt the University would ever allow a club called United White Students…
“If we had chosen any other option besides #4, she might have learned about black folks from the KKK instead of learning from us.”
Like #3. Damn chess nerds are just undercover -as it were- KKK AKA UWS. 😉
Srsly though, in Miami more than just about any city in the US, it’s not that black and white.
And don’t get me started on just how in the hell you made it down the peninsula and right through one of the largest contiguous blocks of intensive farming in the nation -the Everglades Agricultural Region that runs from Lake Okeechobee south all the way past Miami and hard up against the coastal population centers- without seeing HORDES of tractors and other farm implements?
But whatever factors affected and created your persona and outlook, it worked out pretty well, so all’s well etc. etc.
Yep, definitely not mere black and white. Nothing ever is, of course. But I figured an exhaustive dissertation on every aspect of racial and cultural otherness would have been both way too long and way too far outside of my lane. As for tractors, you’re right, maybe at some point I must have driven past one at 70 miles an hour. I guess I should have said more precisely that at that point I hadn’t bothered to noticed one that was anything more than a distant indecipherable yellowish blur. In other words, I might have seen one, but I had never actually looked at one. And I agree, UWS probably would not fly, for reasons that are beyond the scope of this blog. But I’m happy to discuss offline if anyone’s intetested…
Thanks for the compliment! 🙂
If that’s a soapbox, bring on more! Good point, well made.
Thanks, Richard 🙂
Hi Tiffany,
I’ve told you before about my experience during desegregation before. When I started in Law Enforcement in the mid 1970s, all the cops in the county (including cities and Highway Patrol) were white men. In 1981 I moved to a city department in Florida, the first shift I was assigned to had 5 people. A black sergeant, 2 white females officers another white guy and me. They were wary of me and I thought I had landed on Mars (considering I could see the Space Center from town). It took about 2 shifts for them to realize I wasn’t an undercover agent for the Kluckers and for me to realize cops come in 1 race which is blue and 1 sex which is blue. A few years later, I was an usher at the Sgt’s wedding. So I know what you mean. And now that I teach carry classes, I see it in the gun world too. A gun shop like Rangemaster is rare unfortunately, but not as rare as a few years ago.
Mike
Hey Mike. I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am that I just so happened to wander into Rangemaster that day, rather than another range. And I am happy to report that since then I have not only seen a tractor, but I’ve actually touched one! 🙂